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Starlight
05-09-2012, 07:45 PM
This is not exactly in relation to any -nime or game, but I thought I'd share it here to get critique!
My first actual poem. <3

Angels Waltz.

Once upon a midwinter morning
When the flowers ceased to bloom
The Angels dance and sing
Without a hint of gloom

Their smiling faces moving rhythmically
Waltzing hand in hand
Not a single mistake was made
The scene was nothing but grand

It was when the snow stopped falling
When the fun came to an end
But what the Angels didn't know
Is that the story has yet to begin

They looked around, confused
For it was not the end of the season
The elders cautioned the Angels
And for a very good reason

There were beings called the Dangalo
Evil, strong, and cunning
The stopping of the snow and fun
Was a sign that they were coming

They had to prepare for battle
And push away their fear.
"The Dangalo are too strong for us."
"And they are drawing near."

The warriors dressed their wings in golden plates
Their hair tied back in a bun
They marched to the sight of their attack
Making a wall one by one

The Dangalo cross over the hill
Swords and shields in hands
They scoff and laugh at the Angels
The laughing stock of their land

The Dangalos are much taller
And more muscular and braun
But the Angels stand hand In hand
Ready for the battle to be won

The first arrow was shot
And so the battle begins
The Angels charge with grace
And pray for their victorious end

Many Angels wounded
Many Angels fall
Yet they never give up
Not to the Dangalos, no, not at all

One by one the strong Dangalos fall to defeat
While the Angels scream in war
The bravery if all these Angels
Is something to adore

And when the last Dangalo fell
And the battle was finally done
They scream and shout in victory
For it had finally been won.

Opal Maiden
05-10-2012, 04:55 AM
That's pretty awesome.

-sigh-

I wish my poetic skills were good.

I wrote a poem a long time ago but it just seemed like it was very low leveled.

ilkkuva
06-17-2012, 08:18 PM
Bro you are a fabulous human being.

Ambient-Symphony
06-19-2012, 10:35 PM
*Mega gasps*
How did I miss this thread? I thought for certain that I posted a comment here.
*Slams book on head*
*Ahem*

I can truly say that this was a wonderful masterpiece. Not only is the layout neat and organized, but you also managed to find the proper terms to use in the rhyming process.
A job well done Star.

*Tweeted and Liked* :cheers:

I am quite eager to share a poem of my own that I made in my second year of High School.
However, I first need to find out where I last left it, as I don't remember it by heart. ^^;

Opal Maiden
06-23-2012, 03:02 PM
Those are good points.

Ambient-Symphony
06-29-2012, 09:05 PM
Those are good points.

Star is a great writer.
You can learn a few things from her if you ever need help with yours. :)

Starlight
06-30-2012, 11:27 PM
Star is a great writer.

"Star is a great writer."
"Star is a great writer."
"a great writer."

HAHA.
I'm not.

Ambient-Symphony
07-06-2012, 06:54 AM
"Star is a great writer."
"Star is a great writer."
"a great writer."

HAHA.
I'm not.

Ah, but in my eyes you are. :D

Opal Maiden
07-06-2012, 10:51 PM
"Star is a great writer."
"Star is a great writer."
"a great writer."

HAHA.
I'm not.

You should see the things I write.

It would make the whole world laugh.

Starlight
07-07-2012, 04:08 PM
Ah, but in my eyes you are. :D

Really, thank you. :)
But my problem about writing, is that I just get sooo lazy when it comes to things that are assigned to me to write at school.
I nearly failed English because of that said laziness.

You should see the things I write.

It would make the whole world laugh.

I honestly doubt that. :D

Ambient-Symphony
07-08-2012, 03:10 AM
Really, thank you. :)
But my problem about writing, is that I just get sooo lazy when it comes to things that are assigned to me to write at school.
I nearly failed English because of that said laziness.

Ah, you aren't the only one. XD
50% of classmates in any literature class will feel lazy with things like that.
It's usually easy to complete a task that you want to do rather than a task that you have to do.

Opal Maiden
07-09-2012, 03:38 PM
Starlight: I think so.

I'm not very experienced at writing high school/college level.

Most of the things I come up with are low leveled.

At least to me they look that way.

Ambient-Symphony
07-12-2012, 05:42 AM
You should post a copy of your works Becky. :)

Starlight
07-12-2012, 09:10 AM
I agree! <3

Opal Maiden
07-13-2012, 02:10 AM
It's pretty embarrassing.

I have one I made from an inspiration from one of my cheerleading sessions.

Starlight
07-20-2018, 02:59 AM
Bro you are a fabulous human being.

thanks bich

EvilServo
11-21-2018, 12:09 PM
If only world was flat< I could jump of its edge from it corner and fly through space. Geez I feel like supporting Flat earth theorists now XD