[Nykira]

Ok well for one thing I wrote this a year ago, so after that long I don't plan on changing it or even rewriting it.

Well I've read many books and reaserch stuff on vampires and things, this sentence downs the mood because it's ment to, well that's what I remember from when I wrote it.

Ok half thos words u used I don't understand, and I can't be stuffed getting a dictionary to look em up, yes I use emotional words well it's an emotional time, the change in thought which you called the shift is when the her mind goes back to where it wants to be not where it is.

What's poetry got to do with anything, Thanks for the history leason an the big word that I didn't understand, when I write I write my imagination on the page then I rewrite it so it makes sence then rewrite it again to fix it up before posting, that's how I write so meh.

Well as you porbly noticed I don't know all that many words, and yes I will expand my vocabulary as I get older but let me tell u something I'm not in collage I'm not in uni I am not even in VCE yet I'm only in year 10 and when I wrote this I was in yr 9. And why with the poetry I haven't even posted my poetry on here. I don't read the news paper thee boring. I do have a dictionary and the other one.

Ok sentenses well..... You lost me I'm sorry right long senteces well that's the way I write ok, I'm different and like to be, read my other two stories then tell me if they are different ok, the one with no name called street rats in the first stage of writing so it sucks but yea.

Ok yes ppl need to enjoy themselves when reading but I write my imagantion on a page can't help that they talk like that, cause that's wat I thought of then an I ain't changing it

thanks for the advice, the cridiques, the history leason and all the big words that I have never heard in my life. It's great that your instersted in helping me by sharing what u know, but I'm not gonna rewrite it. Also you should make your comments easier to read I'm not in collage or so on as I've said so I don't understand some of wat u have said. Most of the ppl on here are older then me, and probly understand what you have said more then I do. So yea